Living the Dream?

While I was at work today, I overheard my boss use the expression, “living the dream”. This is an expression that I hear a lot, and I’m slightly confused at to what it’s supposed to mean. Most of the time, people say it in a somewhat sarcastic or facetious way. When somebody says it in that manner, it seems to me that they are saying that their life is less than interesting.

For example, you see a friend you haven’ t seen in a while, and they ask you what you have been doing. A common response in this scenario can be that you’re “just living the dream”. This response seems to be said when someone feels they don’t have anything too noteworthy to report. Now, I may be reading into this statement wrong, but that seems to be the underlying meaning of the statement. You know, they aren’t doing anything that exciting, just going to school, going to work, dating, blah, blah, blah.

It’s funny because I’ve heard this statement in conjunction with the lifestyle of a college grad that still lives in Provo. As I’ve tried to explain to people what I’ve been doing, my friends have sometimes pointed out that I’m just “living the dream”. Basically implying that I’m doing nothing with my life by still living in Provo.

So, why is “living the dream” not a good thing? Don’t all of us hope that we’ll go after and achieve our dreams? I think that most of us do. However, “the dream” is often associated with societal norms and expectations that we’ve been raised with all of our lives. So yes, “living the dream” should be a negative statement, because if we’re living “THE dream”, we’re not living our own.

My dream is not to graduate from college and go work for a big corporation in New York, Boston, or D.C. My dream is not to find a “career”, and work for somebody else for my entire life. My dream is not to go to medical school, law school, dental school, or get my MBA. My dream does not align with a lot of the normal, predictable, and expected post-graduation plans of college grads. So, when I say I’m “living the dream”, I’m doing just that. I’m not doing what I want to do, rather, I’m doing what I’ve been taught I should want to do.

That’s really why I’m going on this trip. Too many people settle for “living the dream”, because it just seems too risky or scary to go after what they really want. Even then, often times people have a hard time deciphering between what they really want and what they’ve been taught they should want. I kept quitting jobs without having any other plan, because I never wanted to just get comfortable and settle for life. I hear people all the time say that they don’t love their job, “but it pays the bills”. That, to me, is living the dream.

So, are you living the dream?

Go by foot or car?

The more I’ve thought about traveling, the more confused I’ve become as to whether or not it will really solve the problem. In reality, I just want to feel fulfilled and happy, and I just haven’t felt that way since I’ve graduated. I look back at these last few months, and they have kind of been a waste. I haven’t really done a whole lot, and I just have not been happy with any of the jobs I have. Upon further reflection of this unsatisfied feeling, I’m wondering if a lot of it has to do with the fact that I’m in Provo. I have loved Provo for the last couple of years, but now that I’m graduated, I just don’t feel like I fit here anymore. I think it’s time for me to move on.

So, it may not even be the fact that I’ve hated the jobs I’ve had, although I haven’t thoroughly enjoyed all of them. It could be more that I’m just restless and ready to move on, and I won’t be completely happy with what I’m doing until I pick up and go.

I also think that my feeling of satisfaction has a lot to do with my social life. That is something that is really struggling here in Provo. It’s weird, but for me, the longer I am in one place, the less social I am. When I’m new, I’m extremely outgoing and much less shy. The more comfortable I get and the longer I live in one place, the more reserved I become. It’s like I have that feeling in the beginning that I really don’t care what people think, but then the longer I’m in a place, I care more and more what people think. So, for my social life, it actually might be the best thing for me to go move somewhere else.

After thinking about all these things, I really do think it would be in my best interest to move in December. Now, it’s deciding how I want to move. Do I want to just drop off all my stuff at my parent’s house and be a wanderer on my own with no money? Or, do I decide where I want to move to and drive there and start my life there. Well, one problem is that I really haven’t been to many places in the country, so I don’t really have any specific place in mind that I’d like to live. There is a company in Salt Lake that I’d like to work for, but, I don’t know, that just seems so uneventful. I wonder if I’ll still feel the same restless feeling if I’m living in Salt Lake.

I’ve also been thinking about all the experiences I’ve had that have contributed to my growing desire to get out and see more of the country. My very first experience was in the MTC, when one of my teachers was talking about how he worked for an airline, and every weekend he would just fly to a country and hang out there for a few days. I thought that sounded so fun and so I wanted to do the same thing when I got back. Then, last summer Josh Pratt mentioned how he would like to hitchhike across the country. Once again, I thought that sounded so much fun and I was completely down for the idea. Then, there were some trips that I went on that made me realize how much I love going on trips and just having to figure things out. When I went to a national park with Josh Pratt and Chelsea that we didn’t plan on going to. Then, there was the time I was going to Disneyland, but because of a car crash I ended up spending the weekend in Cedar City. Those trips were so much fun because I didn’t know how things were going to be when I went on the trip.

In conclusion, I’ve pretty much decided that I need to move somewhere. But the questions still remains whether or not I want to move with my car and possessions somewhere, or if I want to completely rough it, and just kind of wander and explore the country. Hmmm, I’ll have to reflect more on this…