Living the Dream?

While I was at work today, I overheard my boss use the expression, “living the dream”. This is an expression that I hear a lot, and I’m slightly confused at to what it’s supposed to mean. Most of the time, people say it in a somewhat sarcastic or facetious way. When somebody says it in that manner, it seems to me that they are saying that their life is less than interesting.

For example, you see a friend you haven’ t seen in a while, and they ask you what you have been doing. A common response in this scenario can be that you’re “just living the dream”. This response seems to be said when someone feels they don’t have anything too noteworthy to report. Now, I may be reading into this statement wrong, but that seems to be the underlying meaning of the statement. You know, they aren’t doing anything that exciting, just going to school, going to work, dating, blah, blah, blah.

It’s funny because I’ve heard this statement in conjunction with the lifestyle of a college grad that still lives in Provo. As I’ve tried to explain to people what I’ve been doing, my friends have sometimes pointed out that I’m just “living the dream”. Basically implying that I’m doing nothing with my life by still living in Provo.

So, why is “living the dream” not a good thing? Don’t all of us hope that we’ll go after and achieve our dreams? I think that most of us do. However, “the dream” is often associated with societal norms and expectations that we’ve been raised with all of our lives. So yes, “living the dream” should be a negative statement, because if we’re living “THE dream”, we’re not living our own.

My dream is not to graduate from college and go work for a big corporation in New York, Boston, or D.C. My dream is not to find a “career”, and work for somebody else for my entire life. My dream is not to go to medical school, law school, dental school, or get my MBA. My dream does not align with a lot of the normal, predictable, and expected post-graduation plans of college grads. So, when I say I’m “living the dream”, I’m doing just that. I’m not doing what I want to do, rather, I’m doing what I’ve been taught I should want to do.

That’s really why I’m going on this trip. Too many people settle for “living the dream”, because it just seems too risky or scary to go after what they really want. Even then, often times people have a hard time deciphering between what they really want and what they’ve been taught they should want. I kept quitting jobs without having any other plan, because I never wanted to just get comfortable and settle for life. I hear people all the time say that they don’t love their job, “but it pays the bills”. That, to me, is living the dream.

So, are you living the dream?

Flakiness?

Well, I did a bunch of packing today. It felt a little weird because I’m trying to pack things up well, since they’ll be sitting packed up for a couple months. But, today was one of the days where the realization of what I’m doing dawned on me. I so excited and nervous to see what is actually going to happen with this. I mean, I can think of all the ideas that I want to. I can have specific purposes and everything. But, until I really get out there and see how difficult it is to accomplish what I want, I’m really not sure how it will be. But, I’m really going through with this.

Ya know what I hate? When you want to do something fun, like go on a road trip, or do something kind of spontaneous. So, you start inviting your friends, and everyone gets excited and says they are “in”. Then, when it really comes down to it, half the people drop out and only a select few end up following through. I think we, referring to humanity, always want to be the kind of people that are down for anything. But, often, we left fears or other daily pressures get in the way of things we want to do. So, when a friend invites us to do something, we all WANT to do that thing, so we express our initial excitement. Then, as the date gets closer, we start worrying about the financial implications, homework that’s due, getting off of work, etc. So, lots of times we don’t follow through. I’m surprised at how often we are all talk. I know I’ve done it plenty of times. But, I’m not going to be that way with this trip. I’m not just going to talk about doing it and then back out at the last moment because of some fears or pressures that I have. I have to go through with it, because if I make a habit of not going after what I want, I’ll have a life void of fulfillment.

Well, those are the main thoughts I had today as I was packing up. Tomorrow’s Thanksgiving. I’m excited. I’ll be starting it at 5 AM. Better get some sleep.

Pride and Passion

I feel great right now. I’m so excited about my birthday party on Thursday. I’ve been calling and talking to lots of people that I haven’t talked to in a while. It’s weird how I feel like I have to have a reason to rekindle friendships with people. It’s like, when I have no direction in my life and I’m not proud of what I’m doing, I’m not as interested in being social and hanging out with friends. Now that I’ve made a decision about what I’m doing, and I’m really excited about it, I love people. I want to see all the friends that I haven’t seen lately. I want to throw a big bday party, which I’ve never done before.

I think that is a good indicator of whether or not my choices are good. There are things that I do that I’m really proud of and that I love talking about with other people. If I’m ever doing something that I’m ashamed of or that I don’t want to share with others, then it’s probably a good indicator that I’m not passionate about it. One of the biggest things that has kept me hopping from one job to the other is that I don’t look forward to what I’m doing. I don’t wake up excited to go to work. Right now, that’s how I am. I’m not excited to go to my sales job or to go work at Runner’s Corner. Once I’m there and I start making sales, I’m really excited about that fact, but I’m never excited to go to work.

That translates into what I tell people. I remember when I worked for Qualtrics, my friend Ty said that I never sounded excited about it. He said that whenever I talked to anyone about it, I was almost ashamed of it. He was right. I wasn’t excited about it and I wasn’t proud of what I was doing. So, for me to be happy about what I’m doing, it needs to be something I’m proud of and that I would love to tell anyone about. That seems to be one of the best indicators of whether or not I’m making good professional decisions. I can probably use that as a forethought. I should ask myself when contemplating any decision if it’s the type of thing I would be proud of.

I’m Doing It

I decided today that I’m for sure going on this trip. Of course there could always be something that comes up that would prevent me, but I’m planning on it, and I’ll start making preparations for it. I’m going to need to get my blog up and running.

Last night I decided that I wanted to have a birthday party at our house this next Thursday. I made an event on facebook and I’ve been inviting a bunch of people. In my invite, I mention that I’m planning on going on a trip soon. Everybody has been asking me what trip I’m going on and what-not, so I need a place to refer them to. I want to get my blog up and running, so that I can start referring people to it. I’ll probably take some of the thoughts that I’ve recorded in this blog, and put them in my other one so that there is an explanation of some of my reasons for wanting to go on the trip.

I feel so much different today then I’ve felt in a while. Now that I’ve decided I’m going on the trip for sure, I’m so much more excited for life. I’m more interested in being social and active in Provo, because I know I won’t be hear much longer. I’m actually excited to tell people about what I’m doing, rather than dreading the inevitable “what are you doing now that you’re graduated” question. I think that’s a good thing. I’m excited about it, and I think it will help me get rid of this restless feeling that I’ve been having. I’ve been wanting to make a decision for some time now, but I just wanted to make sure that no other options interested me enough. Well, I think if I don’t go on the trip, I’ll always have a nagging in the back of my mind. I have to live my life so that I can look back at it and have no regrets.