More Thoughts on Indecision

When I wrote my last post, I was still trying to figure out whether or not I should quit Team In Training, and I had just started to think about the crippling effects of my indecisiveness. Well, I’ve had some more time to think about it, and I wanted to write out my thoughts while they are still fresh.

I really think that indecision is going to keep from being successful, and so I need to just stop being like that. Once I make a decision, I need to be completely devoted to that decision at all times. However, that means that I will do less than I’m currently doing so that I can focus all my time and efforts on one or two things. Napoleon Hill mentions how Henry Ford would constantly get approached about new business opportunities to get involved in, but he always rejected them because he said that all his time and talents were absorbed into what he was doing and so he had no room for anything else.

That’s how people become great. They focus on one thing that they want and that they know they want above all else, and then they go after it, no matter how hard it is to achieve. Think of an athlete. We always hear those stories of athletes and their commitment to do whatever it takes to get to the NBA or the NFL. They wanted that dream more than anything else, and so they spent all their time and energy going after it. Are they good at anything but the sport that now earns their living? Maybe not, but who cares. They knew what they wanted, and they did everything they could to achieve it.

If I want to be successful and achieve what all the most successful people in this world have, I need to have that kind of focus and determination. I need to make up my mind about what it is I want, and then focus all my time and energy on achieving that. This means that I’ll reject many other opportunities and ideas that arise because I have no time to devote to them. So, that means I’m going to quit Team In Training. It’s just one of those things that is taking my time and not contributing to my main focus(which I still need to figure out).

My hobbies can also get in the way of my goals. I love triathlons and so that’s why I got involved in Team In Training. However, my goal isn’t to become a world-class triathlete and so I really don’t want to spend more than an hour a day on training. With Team In Training, I started doing 2-a-days, but, I’ve realized that isn’t contributing to my main goal and focus. I’ll keep exercising daily, but I won’t let it affect my main purpose and aim.

I think it’s good to have a balanced lifestyle, but, if I really want to achieve the success that I dream about, I need to have one major goal or focus that takes the majority of my time. I will no longer let any of my hobbies or interests take away from those goals. I also will no longer agree on participating in anything that will take my time or energy away from my main focus. Today I start a new chapter. I’m no longer going to be indecisive and I will no longer spread myself too thin.

Indecision

When I got to Vegas a few weeks ago, I felt like I should get involved in some service activities now that I was going to be here for a while. I’ve had this nagging feeling for a while to get more involved in service, and I’ve tried to get myself to commit to things before. My last attempt at an ongoing service project was with Micro Business Mentors, which is an organization that helps teach entrepreneurial skills to lower-income groups of people. For some reason, it was hard for me to get fully invested into what I was doing and it kind of fizzled out.

Now, in Vegas, I found a service organization that I was very excited about, Team In Training. I’m training with a group of people to be able to compete in a triathlon in Texas. In conjunction with our training, we raise money that goes to benefit the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society. I’ve been really enjoying the program, but I didn’t want to raise funds using the traditional methods. Like always, I wanted to do my own thing. I wanted to take this opportunity to learn what it takes to put together a non-profit organization. I had the cause, now I just had to figure out a way to make money by using that cause. So, I decided to host a bicycle drive. I put together a website at www.Bikes4Cancer.com and I’ve been trying to get bike donations so that we can fix them up and sell them.

With so much going on with my job and all things that I’ve been doing while trying to get assimilated here, it took me quite some time to get my website up and running. Because of that, I haven’t raised much money at all. I committed to raise $4,200, and I’ve only raised like $150 or something. Well, with the program, they have a time period about half way through that they call, “Re-Commitment”. At that time, when you recommit, you become personally responsible for raising those funds, and if you don’t, you authorize them to charge your credit card.

So, now I’m trying to make the decision of whether or not I should continue with the program. The problem is, I don’t want to. This frustrates me because of the habit of indecision I’ve had lately. I’ve been reading “Think and Grow Rich” by Napoleon Hill. He discusses indecision as one of the faults that keeps people from achieving success. As I look back at my life, I can see how indecision has been a trait that has crippled me. I always say that I’m good at a lot of things, but not great at any of them. That’s because I could never make decisions about what things I wanted to pursue. I have many varying interests, and so my time was always spread among so many things that I never have developed any expertise in one particular area.

For example, growing up, I always wanted to learn both the piano and the guitar. After hearing somebody play the piano, I would get motivated to learn that instrument, so I would be all gun-ho on practicing that one for a while. Then, later I would hear somebody play the guitar and decide that the guitar would be a better instrument for me to play. So, the result of this indecision? I can play a little guitar and a little piano. I’m not good at either, although I know the basics and can learn songs if I really want to.

With Team In Training, it’s not that I don’t want to continue with the program. I really do. I also want to continue to try and raise money through the use of a bicycle drive. However, with the time pressure, I’m just lacking the confidence that I know how best to do so. It’s the time pressure and commitment that are making me want to bow out. Also, I’ve been really stressed with my job lately and so I feel like I lack the energy that is required to make the bicycle drive a success. Getting the bicycles in one challenge, once I get them, I need to tune them up and sell them. I’ve done that before and I know how time consuming it can be so I just don’t know if I have the time necessary.

Anyway, I really think this is a crippling habit of mine and I need to get it figured out. I have lots of great ideas but I jump from one to the next so quickly without giving things a chance. It’s much better to stick with an idea too long than it is to jump from one to the other without giving it adequate time. I’m not sure that’s the best choice with Team In Training, but I do feel it’s the best choice with my current job.

Thoughts on Hitchhiking

Ok, so I had another hitchhiking adventure yesterday, and while the thought is on my mind I’d like to reflect on my hitchhiking experiences as a nomad. First off, let’s talk about yesterday’s experience. I was out visiting a client, and I accidentally locked my keys in my car. So, the first feeling I had was of complete helplessness, but then I thought about how I could just hitchhike to my house to get my spare key.

So, I started going around the parking lot, and the second person I asked was able to give me a ride. He wasn’t going the whole way, but he dropped me off and I got another ride the rest of the way. I got my spare key, and then I tried to get a ride back to my car. This proved much more difficult than getting a ride to my house. Everyone that I approached said they weren’t going the direction I was headed. So, then I made up a sign on paper and held it out by the Freeway on-ramp. Nothing. I decided that I needed to go to another area with more people, so after walking to the nearby Smith’s, I tried again a few times. Still unsuccessful after 30 minutes of trying, I decided to give up.

It reminded me a lot of the feelings I had as a nomad. Now, the reason I wanted to hitchhike on my trip is because I thought it would be fun to meet new people. I wanted to maximize the amount of people I interacted with, so hitchhiking seemed perfect. Unfortunately, it was much harder to hitchhike in Arizona(and now in Vegas) than I had anticipated. I was so surprised at how scared people seemed when I would approach them as ask for a ride. I was wearing a black suit and tie yesterday, and a guy even mentioned how he felt a scared at the sight of me just standing around in my suit.

It made me realize that often, we keep ourselves from doing good because of our fear. There are many people that we could help that we don’t, because we are afraid to help. This was a thought that came very strong to me in Arizona that I hope to remember. I should never let my fear get in the way of me helping someone out who is in need.

Also, although the idea of hitchhiking is still very appealing to me, the necessity of hitchhiking no longer is. When I was hitchhiking in UT for two weeks, it wasn’t completely necessary. I still had a car that I could drive, but I wanted to make sure I could get around. Anyway, I wasn’t doing it out of necessity, and I knew that at any time I could go get my car. Well, when I really didn’t have the option of a car, I felt myself getting more frustrated with people’s lack of willingness to give me a ride. I was completely dependent on others, and so I was more emotionally involved in the process. I think hitchhiking is better when you are doing it merely for the fun of it, and not out of pure necessity.

Well, those were just some of the thoughts I had on hitchhiking from my trip and my experience the other day. I think if I ever want on another nomadic adventure, I’d want to live out of my car. I could still hitchhike and what-not, but it would take out the necessity of the act and in turn would make it more enjoyable. Anyway, just a thought…

I’ll Keep It Going

Well, now that I’m no longer hitch hiking around the country, the question remains as to what to do with this blog. I already deleted my Grad2Nomad twitter account as well as my Facebook fan page. I just felt like those were elements that I introduced mainly for people to follow me on my journey.Well, a new journey is beginning, but I’m returning to being me, Aaron Anderson, and not being known as a nomad anymore.

I think I’ll just use this blog as my personal blog from now on. In reality, I could still be considered a “nomad” in a sense, and I still feel like I’m searching for my place in life. Just because I found a job doesn’t mean that I have stopped wandering and looking for what will give me fulfillment in life. I think the URL still gives a pretty accurate description of my station in life. I’m still a recent grad that hasn’t yet found his place in life and so everything I do is still temporary at this point. Now the blog will be known as my nomadic journey in entrepreneurship. I really think that all of my decisions and jobs will be temporary until I successfully build a company of my own.

With that being said, let me update you on how this job is going. To be frank, I don’t really think I’ll ever be completely satisfied in a job unless I have complete ownership of it. I won’t ever have complete ownership unless I build a business around an idea that was mine to begin with.

Now, entrepreneurship excites me in any form. I get excited with the potential of building a business and being involved in the process whether or not I came up with the idea. But, I still feel like there is a missing element of fulfillment when I’m not working on something that I’ve created. However, I realize that I can gain and learn much by working for others and helping other small companies to grow and be successful.

In that case, this job is a great fit and I’m very excited for it. I have a lot of autonomy and I’m able to try and figure out the best ways of growing the business here in Las Vegas. I’ve already learned a lot and I anticipate growing and learning more with each passing week. I feel privileged to have a job that gives me so much autonomy and that will help me learn the essential skills and strategies to help a business grow from inception. Although this business has been around for a while, this is the very first office that we have opened(besides the Salt Lake office). Since the business grew organically in Salt Lake, the company has never had to learn how to open and grow the business in a new city before. That’s my challenge, and I’m loving the excitement of learning how to do that.

I think that’s all I’ll say for today, since I really need to get back into the habit of writing these blog posts. I have a lot to say about the challenges I’ve faced already and the strategies I’m implementing for going forward. I also have plenty to reflect about pertaining to the things I learned as a nomad and what I learned about myself from this experience.

Life Works Out

Ok, I know that it has been a long time since I’ve posted, so I owe you an explanation of what has been going on since then. Well, in my last post I talked about the different things that I didn’t like about being a nomad. However, the nomadic experience brought me about a great opportunity that I just couldn’t pass up. If you want to read up more on that job, go here.

So, after being in Phoenix for three days, I got a ride to Las Vegas on Sunday morning, the 3rd of January. That week I started working with Despain Craftsmanship, and that was supposed to be my trial week to see if I was a good fit or not. Well, by the second day I knew that I wanted to take the job and stay in Vegas. Although a part of me really wanted to continue on my journey, I got really excited about having a job that I would love. So, I’ve been in Vegas ever since. I know, I”m sure a lot of people were disappointed that my trip didn’t last longer, and so was I. But really, I always told myself that I would continue on the journey until I found something else that I wanted to do. That’s how life should be. Too often we continue doing something we don’t want to do for far too long, but in this case, I found a job that is a perfect fit.

It’s really funny how everything just seemed to work out. I mean, even the fact that I wanted to live in a warm climate. There are lots of opportunities that could have arisen that I wouldn’t have wanted because of the location. Also, a lot of people told me having all those jobs after graduation would make me less employable. I totally see why people would think that, because potential employers would get the impression that I’m hard to please. Well, the interesting part is that my employer was actually impressed with all the different jobs I had. He said he was impressed that I was able to get so many jobs in this bad economy. A different way to think about it, but, the point is that it worked out perfect.

It’s also cool how all the different jobs I had have helped me to bring a different perspective to the table. I think you learn the most in the first month or so of employment. Often, you’re being introduced to an entirely new industry that you had you previous knowledge about. So, all those experiences helped me learn some specific things that have been a great help in my current employment. I’m just amazed at how all the pieces have fit together so perfectly.

I think about how different my life would be if I would have kept one of the previous jobs, decided to stay in Provo, or never had the idea of a nomadic trip. The fact that I was planning on the trip when I did, led to this job at just the time they needed somebody.

Anyway, I think that’s what happens when we just do stuff and have the faith that it will work out. Life just does sometimes. The eight months since my college graduation have been a very frustrating time for me because I felt like I really wasn’t accomplishing what I wanted to accomplish. It’s just amazing how all those experiences contributed and led me to do what I’m doing now.

So, now I start a new chapter in a book. My journey continues. I may not wander around like a nomad in the physical sense anymore. However, life will continue to have unexpected events, stops, and journeys that I could never anticipate.

Nomadic Negatives

Ok, well, I have to be honest. Being a nomad isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. So, here I’m going to talk about the different things that I haven’t really enjoyed as a nomad.

1) Memories are better when shared – It feels great to be able to go and do stuff every day, but, it gets lonely just wandering around by yourself. I’ve realized that a lot of activites are only fun because of the people that surround us when doing an activity. A lot of times the activity itself isn’t necessarily that exciting.

2) Not “having” to be anywhere is unfulfilling – One of the things I was excited about was the fact that I would have no strings attached and I could go anywhere at anytime. However, I also found that to be kkind of bothersome. I mean, maybe it’s because I was in Phoenix, and I’ve been there plenty of times, but I didn’t really have anything i really “had” to do each day. There wasn’t anything noteworthy that I had heard of that I wanted to see in Phoenix. Also, because it was a holiday, there weren’t too many people working. So, I kind of wandered around restlessly during the day. I felt kind of useless and unambitious because I didn’t have enough to do.

3) Planned spontaneity isn’t spontaneous – One of my opinions is that vacations should never be planned. You should only plan the destination. This makes way for more spontaneity, and so the events are more fun, just because of the fact that they were unplanned. Well, when spontaneity is a way of life, it takes a lot of the fun out of it. When you don’t know where you are going to sleep every night, it is no longer spontaneous trying to find a place to sleep, it’s how you live.

4) I feel like a mooch – This question came up from people about whether I thought I’d feel like a mooch. I didn’t really think so. My thought was that it would be like sales. Yes, my ability to live would be dependent on others, but that’s the same for a salesman. YOu just have to learn to gain people’s trust, and your success is based upon your ability to do so. Well, I felt like a mooch. I felt like people offerent me things out of sympathy, not because they genuinely wanted to enjoy the journey with me. I hate feeling like a burden to people.

5) I felt gross – I thought that if I brought normal clothes, had enough to wear clean shirts every day, and if I showered and shaved every day, that I would feel normal. Nope. I still felt kind of dirty. I had to wear the same pair of jeans every day, and they were getting dirty by the end of the week. I also was a little gross after walking around all day.

6) Hitchhiking harder outside UT – I know, everybody told me it would be, and I knew it would be as well, but I was kind of surprised. People won’t even roll down their windows or acknowledge you when trying to ask for rides. Of course these were all rides I was trying to get around town, so, there are a lot of variables to look at, but, the people of Phoenix seemed very frightened of a hitchhiker.

Ok, these are the main things that I haven’t liked about being a nomad so far. I think the main thing I didn’t like was feeling like I was a mooch and that I was unambitious with anything I needed be doing. It made me want to have a more normal existence where I can provide for myself and do my own thing. I’ve always been very independent, and I felt the strains of my dependence on others. I didn’t like that feeling.

There are some things I really enjoy and that I’ve learned so far as well. I’m going to put those in the next post. I’ve just been analyzing lately the things I haven’t liked as much as I thought.

Different Than I Thought

Ok, yesterday was my first official day as a nomad. I stayed in a hotel with my parents on Wednesday night, but I didn’t have any place to stay last night. So, it was pretty eventful.

To start out the day, I just went over to the Fiesta Mall in Mesa to sit and chill. I had a phone interview with the Associated Press at 10 AM, and then I also had a live radio interview with KSL News Radio around noon. I was very happy to see that the Air Force vs Houston game was being played on a TV in the mall, so I kept myself occupied between interviews watching that game.

One thing I was suprised with was that I just didn’t really feel like I had anything to do. I mean, I’ve lived in the Phoenix area before, so, I don’t have the desire to walk around and explore that I normally will have when visiting a place for the first time. I just planned on being here so that I could have a fun New Years Eve. So, I did feel kind of bored during the day.

Well, I have a friend from college that said I could stay with her family, so, she texted me her address and I decided to head on over to her place. I decided to try and test out my hitchhiking skills. I definitely had some problems, but it was mostly because of my frame of mind. It just feels a lot different here. Anyway, I finally went up to a car and tried to get a girl to roll down her window so I could ask for a ride. She gave me this death stare and then shook her head. haha, it was pretty funny. But, then I decided that maybe that approach won’t work too well here, and that I’ll need to talk to people before they get in their cars.

So, my next approach was to a guy at a gas station. I walked up to him and asked him how he was doing, and he said, “I don’t have any money dude”. Haha, wow, do I really look like one of those guys? After talking to him, we we’re joking about how I don’t really look like a drug addict, but anytime anybody approaches him at a gas station, it’s normally because of money. Well, he wasn’t going my direction, but, I think I’ll probably approach people outside their cars from now on.

Now, I didn’t really ask for more rides after that, but, I didn’t really NEED to be anywhere. So, I was totally fine just walking. It was fun to be able to walk outside in the awesome weather. Without a time constraint or anywhere to be, it was hard for me to motivate myself enough to get a ride. That’s something that I had when I was in Provo because I had to get to work in good time.

Anyway, my flip flops aren’t broken into well enough yet, so my feet were getting sore where the strap was rubbing. So, I kept taking them off to walk barefoot down the street. That’s why my calves are nice and sore today.

I ended up walking to a restaurant where I met up with some friends for dinner. I hung out with them most of the night. However, I never knew where I was going to sleep since I hadn’t met up with the girl who was going to let me stay at her house. I didn’t want to stay at her house unless I hung out with her, since I was going to be out pretty late. Well, it wasn’t until late, like 2 am, when I was at a New Year’s afterparty, that I found a place to stay. I was just talking to some girls that I had met before, and they offered me a place to stay. I ended up staying with one of their friends, who I hadn’t met until just then. An interesting turn of events.

So, my first day was quite an interesting one. I had a great time for New Years, and I really enjoyed hanging out with my friends. I was able to find a place to stay, even though I didn’t know where I was going to be for the majority of the night. I think if I’m fine sleeping on the grass, then it’s easier for me to remain calm about finding a place. I just have to be positive that things will work out, and, well, they did.

First Opportunity

As I’ve talked to people about my trip, I’ve repeatedly said how I anticipate opportunities to present themselves as a result of what I’m doing. I always said how it’s hard to put a specific timeline on my trip because it could be dramatically changed based upon those opportunities. It could last a week, it could last a year. I just don’t know. However, I didn’t quite expect to have opportunities come to me until AFTER I’d started my trip. So, the phone call I got last Saturday came as quite a surprise to me.

In order to best introduce this, lets talk about what I’m looking for in an opportunity or in a new “life” for me. My main goal is to be an entrepreneur, and so any job I do get I want to contribute to this goal. I also want to enjoy what I do. By analyzing what I’ve liked/disliked about my post-graduation jobs, I think I’ve come up with a checklist of things I need in a job to really love it.

1. I want to live where it’s warm. I lived in AZ for high school and my first 2 years of college and so I got spoiled. Two years in Provo was enough cold for me. I just want to live where it doesn’t snow.

2. Performance-Based Compensation – I don’t really like working for an hourly or salary wage. I want to get paid what I’m worth. If I work hard, I want to get paid based upon that hard work. I think hourly jobs can lead to a lazier mentality. At least for me. Also, as an entrepreneur, this is a good thing to learn and get used to.

3. Authority to implement change – This one is big. A lot of sales jobs give me the ability to make lots of money, but don’t allow me to implement change. I like to be efficient. I like to fix problems. When I see a problem that could be fixed in a business, I want to have the authority to implement a solution. I want to be able to give feedback that improves the companies I work for. I often am excited about creating systems that will encourage more efficiency in business. This is one of the things I look for that is the hardest to come by as a “recent grad”.

4. Variety in task – If I do the exact same thing every day, I tend to struggle. The task can even be similar every day, as long as the situations and problems continue to change.

5. I want to avoid the application process – I know a lot of people might think this is unrealistic, but I hate going through the application and interview process. I want somebody to offer me a job because they know me and they can see the potential that I have. I don’t want it to be because I look good on paper and I interview well. Which, I do consider myself to be good at interviewing. I’d much rather work for somebody for free for a week or two and then have them offer me a job, rather than go through a series of interviews and applications to find a job.

So really, those are the main things I want. I’ve realized that all of these things are important to me. So, you’re probably wondering what the phone call was that I received. Well, I received a call from a cousin of mine last Saturday. Him and his dad had been reading up on my blog about my trip and my different ideas, and they thought I might be a good fit to work with them. I didn’t know anything about their company or what they were doing before we had this conversation.

So, their company name is Despain Craftsmanship. Basically, they do wood repair and restoration for commercial buildings. It was started by my uncle and was fueled mostly by word-of-mouth. Once my cousin decided to get into the business a few years ago, it has started growing much more rapidly. Well, they’ve expanded the business into Las Vegas, and they’d like me to be in charge of Sales and Marketing of their office down there. Also, they are wanting to create a replicatable business model that they can then franchise out.

It sounds like a great opportunity and appears to meet all the criteria that I’m looking for. There is a huge potential for the business in Las Vegas because of all the repair and maintenance that could be done on Casinos. They’ve already done work on the City Center and Venitian in Vegas, and they are getting great feedback from those projects. I like that with this job there would be a lot of flexibility to fix and improve things as I see fit. I would also be able to be an integral part of learning how to grow a business. Very valuable experience. It actually seems like with my experience, it’s a greater opportunity than I really deserve.

Although it looks like a great opportunity, I still want to gain experience from traveling and having this adventure. So, I’ll be working with them for a week or two so we can see if it’s a good fit for both of us. I’m going to hitch a ride to Vegas and start working for them next Monday. If it’s a good fit, then there is potential for a long-term position in the future. It’s just funny because I really didn’t anticipate finding an opportunity so quickly that I was interested in.

So, now that I’ve started this blog and got my hopes all up to travel around and experience life, I don’t want to give it up for a job so soon. If it really is a great fit for both of us, I’m sure we’ll be able to work something out so that I can still have the experiences I’m looking for. I’m really hoping that Vegas is just the beginning of my journey…

Cost of Dreams

I haven’t been thinking too much about my trip lately because I’ve just been enjoying family and the Christmas season. I’m not sure why, but even though I don’t have places to sleep all planned out for next week, I’m really not worried. I have this feeling like things will just all work out. It’s kind of weird. I keep thinking I’m going to feel pressured to find places to stay and what not, but so far, I haven’t. Hopefully things works out as optimistically as I think they will.

The main reason for me wanting to write tonight is because I just watched the movie “It’s A Wonderful Life”. It’s kind of a tradition in my family to watch either that or The Christmas Carol on Christmas Eve. Well, tonight as we watched “It’s A Wonderful Life”, I was really touched. So much so that I actually cried. I tried to hide it, but, I definitely cried. And, for me, that doesn’t really happen too much. If I would have watched the movie alone in my room, I would have been bawling.

I think the reason I was so touched is because I feel like I can relate a lot with the main character – George Bailey. He’s a very ambitious young man that wants to get out and change the world. He wants to do important things and travel and see what the world has to offer. He has his life all planned out exactly how he thinks it will be. However, even though he has all these dreams of the life he wants to have, he gives them up for others.

I have a lot of the same desires as him and I’ve been thinking a lot lately, as I’ve been getting ready for my trip, how we shouldn’t give up on what we want out of life. We should never just settle for a life that is sufficient to get us by. I don’t want to live a life where I have regrets or where I struggle to get out of bed in the morning. I don’t want to get a job just to “pay the bills” yet doesn’t challenge and engage me. I don’t want to coast through life having never taken the risks to go after my dreams.

However, this movie has shown me the courage that it takes to give up what you want for others. I would really struggle with that, and I think that’s why I was so touched by the story. He sacrificed his life and dreams to help others live better lives.

Now, I also have greater appreciation for others who do jobs, “just to get by”. I always kind of looked down on people like that because I was disappointed that they weren’t pursuing their dreams. However, often, they are sacrificing what they want for somebody else. We hear of a father who gets married much earlier in life than planned. Rather than continuing on the career path he wants, he drops out of school in order to get a job to provide for his family. He doesn’t love his job, but he is doing it because he wants to take care of those he loves more than he wants to take care of himself. That takes great courage and great character.

I’m sure there are plenty of women out there who had great desires for an education and career, and they sacrificed those things to be a mother to their children. Maybe there are those who have to give up their life-long dreams because it isn’t a practical path to take to raise a family. I shouldn’t look down on these people, because, in reality, they have much more courage than me. They are giving up what they want in order to help others. I’m not sure why I never really saw that before now. I’ve seen this movie plenty of times, but tonight, it taught me a great lesson. Just one more thing that is showing me how I can learn from everyone.

Why am I REALLY doing this?

Ok, now that I’ve had to talk to more and more people about what I’m doing on this trip, I keep feeling unsettled with my ability to explain it. I feel like people are confused by my intentions, and to be honest, I’ve been a little confused myself.

So, I’ve done the work to try to figure myself out, and I think I got it. I went back and read my oldest blog entries as well as just tried to reflect on what I’d regret not accomplishing with this trip.

I think the reason it has been so difficult to explain myself is because I started with an original idea for the trip. Then, as time progressed, I kept seeing byproducts and other things that I would benefit from by going on the trip. As I tried to explain my reasons to others, I kept getting my byproducts mixed in with my main goal or reason, and so it was never very clear. The problem is that I’m excited about the trip for lots of different reasons, but, I’m going on the trip for one main reason.

Now, when I look back at why I’ve had a hard time committing to different things, post-graduation. I think that most of it stems from one main problem: my location. I never really planned on staying in Provo too long after graduation. I had only been there for two years, and I liked it because there are lots of new startups and I’m somewhat acquainted with people in the entrepreneurial community in the Utah Valley. So, I thought it would be a good place to stay. However, I never really saw it as a long term location, so every job that I got I also saw as a short-term gig. That translated into my inability to really love what I was doing.

I might be able to enjoy doing b2b sales, but when I saw that some deals would take 6-8 months to close, I wasn’t even sure if I’d be around long enough to close them. How could I patiently work and put everything into a job when I never really intended to stay there too long? So, as I went from one project to another, I didn’t really analyze and weigh my options, because I never considered any of them to be long-term. That’s not the best phrase of mind when going into a job. Most of the time I went in with the idea that I didn’t know how long I planned on staying, but that I would just wait and see. But, I think deep down I really was never planning on staying in Provo too long.

Part of the reason I didn’t want to stay in Provo is because I’ve had an itching to get out and explore the world while I’m young and single and still capable of having no commitments. I think I was trying to fight that urge some because I felt that I needed to “get on” with my life. So, I was continually having this inner struggle where I was trying to get jobs in a place I didn’t want to stay, and fighting that urge to just go out and see the country.

So, that’s really why I want to go on this trip. I’ve never been anywhere and I feel like I’m really sheltered and have a limited perspective on the world because of my lack of traveling and seeing things. So, I really just want to go on an adventure so that when I do decide to settle somewhere, I’ll be able to do it without this gnawing and restlessness in the back of my mind.

However, there are lots of other things that make me excited about the trip as well. I wanted to hitchhike because it will maximize the amount of different people I interact with. I think there’s a lot to learn from others who have been there, done that, so, I’d like to interact with different people daily. I’d like to learn about careers and what people do so that I might have a better view of where I would excel in a company. I want to have a blog and learn about social media. I want the experience of facing all of my most basic fears and overcoming them. I want to learn entrepreneurial skills. I want the ability to get up and go wherever the wind is blowing.

I think the byproducts that I view as potential for the trip come with my experience with door-to-door sales. While I was out and about, talking to people every day, I gained opportunities and met people that I otherwise would have never met. I got random job offers and learned about the things that people did. However, my purpose was to sell these people so I wasn’t really focused on learning about what they did or learning from them. So, I thought that if I was out and about and had more of a focus to learn about careers and jobs from others, that I’d probably learn a lot. Also, I’ll probably get some opportunities for work or learning that I would never have gained if I wasn’t out and about, talking to people every day.

So, there really are lots of different things I hope to get out of this trip, but they aren’t the reasons I’m going on it. If the only thing I accomplish is having a fun adventure and going places I’ve never been, I will feel fulfilled. So, I’m not going to worry about marketing my blog. I think that has contributed a lot to my confusion. I was trying to create a story that I thought would be more interesting for media and people to follow. In reality, I don’t care. I’m doing this trip for me, not for anybody else. So, sorry if that’s disappointing to anybody, but I’m sure glad that now I know EXACTLY why I’m going this trip.